Singleness...

Singleness…

                You may be wondering what a woman of my status is doing talking about singleness. Well, there’s more than one kind, you know. Not convinced? Let me explain.

                There this idea that’s been bugging me for several months now. As I pondered what to blog about this idea was, well, bugging me (you know the old saying, the squeakiest thought get the oil!)

As I stumble through my 30’s I have been quite surprised at this magnetic inclination to hold on to the past. And by hold on I don’t mean grip. I mean hold on like a pit bull with lockjaw; like an Alaskan stabbing her ice pick into a giant wall of frozen ice to survive the harsh winter's storm...like a dog with a…well, you get my drift. First there’s the occasional nostalgic trip down memory lane, reminiscing over high school memories and college days long gone. Then there are the deep-seated ideals that were instilled in us from one environment or another (Any church kids out there? How about private school kids? Yep. You feel me.) And I can’t forget relationships. The organic ones I can handle but what about ALL the other ones we have to juggle, old and new? With lifelong learning (I heart reading), the need for culture (gotta have museums), television (Scandal anyone?), and uh…oh yeah, people (who doesn’t love people, am I right?), it’s a wonder we’re not all catatonic from the weight of juggling it all.

And boy do we want it all.

We want the start-up business that makes it to Forbes List, we want children who wake themselves up and make their own breakfast and get hired as student-teachers in the 3^rd grade, we want spouses who can read our minds and non-verbal cues in their sleep while helping out around the house, showing up at our work functions and smelling good when they do it. We want magazine-cover-greatness. Washboard abs, flawless skin, and 27 hour days so we can fit that last episode of our current Netflix binge in before getting the two hours of sleep we need to start it all over again.

But there’s this thought that keeps bugging me. Singleness…no, not that kind of singleness. Singleness of mind. What is singleness of mind? That, I’m figuring out daily. What I’ve got so far is that we take life on one chunk at a time. You know, like eating an apple. Instead of trying to do it all, have it all and be it all, why not do one thing at a time and do it well? Maybe being a single-minded mom means I skip television and play a game with my children. Or find a program we can all watch together (sounds like a win/win to me!) When I’m so mentally overloaded that my brain is about to blow a gasket, instead of taking it out on my spouse, why not consider areas I can cut back on (Do I really need to be on the Foundation for the Cultivation of Puppies in Space? Maybe. Maybe not.) My point is, I am learning to learn from the past and then let go of the past. The better I get at it the more space I open for my present, and what a gift it is! (C’mon, I had to. It was too good to pass up.)

Join me in discovering what matters in your life and then channeling your mind to the singleness of working towards that end. Want to be a better person? Singleness. Want better relationships? Singleness. Want financial freedom? Single. Ness. You’ll find, as I have, that the chaos, juggling and madness that don't make us better people all filter out as we shed the weight of mental excess the world and even we put on ourselves. We don't need it all. And if we're honest, we're satisfied with much less than what we have. Once we de-layer our heart and mind, and focus on what matters, what we have left is peace. And we could all use a little more of that.

 

Build,

Nakeia